Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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