The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
