just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
