hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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