I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
