i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
