she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
