Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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