i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
