I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
