Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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