No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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