How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
