He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
