what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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