I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
