It was confusing and full of hummus
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
