You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
