Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
