If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Farmville is her only friend.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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