it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You're so nebulous sometimes
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm always down for nudity.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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