Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
