Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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