He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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