I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
