He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
