how can u be prego again
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
