In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Randomize
