I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
