I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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