The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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