that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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