I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
