I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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