Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
