Its about making memories worth repressing
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
