i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize