Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
