5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
