i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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