and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
