I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
