So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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