she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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