she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
