I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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