If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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