Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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