Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize