That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
